Have you ever watched the debate in the British Parliament? If you have, you will note how articulate the members are. Their mastery of the English language although predictable (it is after all where the language originated!) is truly awe inspiring. Even the Scots, with their curious dialect and frowning brows, seem entirely eloquent in the ebb and flow of this cultured yet passionate and very entertaining debate.
Have you ever watched the debate in the US Senate? Son of a gun if those dudes and dudettes are not just as articulate although many of the words are mis- pronounced in the American fashion. They all sound like expensive trial lawyers. They seem capable of pulling the heart strings to your very being as they pontificate on the raw magnificence of American citizenship. Listening to them for a few minutes you have this sudden urge to join the US Marines and go and kill something to protect freedom and project the American dream. All kidding aside they speak very well indeed!
Well there is one problem. I didn't get to where I am today by being a nit picker but not to put too fine a point on it they often will change an "o" to an "a". I have no idea why they do this. As an example "dollar" which should rhyme with "holler" is pronounced as "daller". "Dog" becomes" Dag" or even "Dawg" Its most annoying. Why don't they talk more like Canadians? I don't know and they won't tell me! And then there is the "Zee" and "Zed" controversy. We pronounce Z as is should be pronounced i.e. ""Zed" They don't. The irony that they mis-pronounce the last letter in the English alphabet and they mix up the first letter with the 15th letter is not lost on a lot of Canadians. You gotta love em!
Fully primed now, take a look at the debate in the Canadian Parliament. Each member repeats over and over and over again the phrase "Mr. Speaker" Talk about bullshit. You see how it works here is that all the discussion goes thru Mr. Speaker rather than to the person spoken about. The logic here is that somehow this approach will reduce fist fights and support decorum. Hahahahahaha. Some of them actually will whine "Mr. Speaker" several times in one sentence or paragraph. It is the most annoying, foolish and ridiculous waste of time imaginable. Its not that our parliamentarians can't speak because like the others of other nations ours have the gift of gab too. But they all sound silly with the constant repetition of the words "Mr. Speaker" And of course some are much worse than others making it even more obnoxious.
I actually wrote" Mr. Speaker" a polite little e-mail bringing his attention to the misuse of his title and suggesting an easy fix where each member addressed him only ONCE as "Mr. Speaker" and then just got on with it. I received no response.
Apparently Mr. Speaker, a gentleman who I pay the wages for and who is fully succulent on the taxpayer teat (as are his well paid minions who read and process his mail) deemed it not necessary to even acknowledge or reply to my concerns. Too busy running between that taxpayer provided palatial 11 room house in Kingsmere or the block of rooms assigned to him in the Parliamentary block. Not that he doesn't earn it but he is living very well courtesy of the taxpayer and perhaps simple acknowledgement of a taxpayer's correspondence would not put him out too much. Thanks eh! Suck back a few more of those taxpayer funded lattes. Or frapachinos! Don't choke on the lemon flax omega 3 tarts or Nanaimo bars. Now I feel mean as Mr. Milliken is better than most. (OK the man is excellent!) But alas there is this pesky problem about the use of the phrase "Mr. Speaker" Perhaps they could interspace that with "Yo Peter!" or "Mr. Milliken" or "hey you" or whatever.
So Mr. Speaker, I think the constant references to yourself in the debates is nothing short of a huge load of bullshit. A pox on it sir! With respect.
If you enjoy hearing "Mr. Speaker" repeated ad infinitum in a childish whining rant that only Canadian politicians (usually members of the NDP ) can muster then do nothing. If you think its a load of bullshit please write to "Mr. Speaker" and tell the dude so. Here is his email address. By the way as mentioned- I have nothing against this speaker (Mr. Peter Milliken M.P.) - I am sure he is a fine individual like most of the other dedicated characters in our Parliament but this "Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker", bullshit has got to go!
Not to put too fine a point on it -it would improve the quality of debate and the efficiency of parliament substantially if the constant references to "Mr. Speaker" were cut by 90%.
And here is another idea. Since the beginning of time the Speaker has been the best MALE for the job. How about this. The Speaker position be designated FEMALE until the number of female speakers in the job equals the number of males who have held the speakers position. Fair? I think so!
This young woman may be fit and intelligent but she will never be the head of the CBC or the Speaker in the Canadian House of Parliament or the Prime Minister. Is this fair? I think its crap! (Bull crap!) She has a degree but must flip burgers for a living. Is that fair!!
At least we would get a reprieve from "Mr. Speaker" to something like "Mrs. or Miss or Ms. Speaker" I think the time has come!
I think we should march on Ottawa with with CANADIANBULLSHIT.COM on the banners demanding justice. Or something good anyway.
And one more thing. Apparently dogs are not allowed in Parliament. This is grossly unfair. It would sure improve things. When I visited Parliament some undercover guard rushed up and said I would need to leave poor Ralph out in the snow. Like I would do that! What is Canada turning into? Anyway a nice Muslim lady saved the day by sneaking Ralph in tucked inside her Berka so he was able to watch Question period with me. Later he said he was most impressed with the questions but why did everyone repeat "Mr. Speaker Mr. Speaker over and over again? Why indeed? The puppy knows best!
Mr. Speaker please take me back to the index eh!
