SPY BULLSHIT
I didn't get to where I am today by being stupid. Lets take a hypothetical situation. Lets just say that I was looking at CNN.com and saw a picture of this dude. He is the top al Qaeda leader in Iraq.
Abu Hamza al-Muhajir 292X219 pixels
Now dress me up and call me stupid but surely you too can see what is wrong with this image! If you can't see it go to this page.
When is the last time you saw a person with rectangular pupils?
So clearly the image has been distorted.
After focusing in on the pupils it became clear that the dude's head was strangely narrowed and elongated. This points to a horizontal distortion.
So being a master of technology I fired up my copy of Photoshop 7.0 and I changed the width of the image until the pupils were round again. And here is what he looks like now. I could have played around with the dudes head for several minutes and got it perfect but this is close enough for discussion purposes.
Abu Hamza al-Muhajir 355X215 pixels
Well, well, well. I thought. So I then decided it might be wise to pass this on to our spies at CSIS as they just might be interested in this. So I go over to the site and look for an email address. Guess what. They don't have one. They do have a web form which does not allow attaching an image. So I look up the RCMP and guess what -they don't have one in fact to quote the RCMP "We do not accept reports of crime by e-mail". Neither does the CIA or MI5 or MI6. It seems that none of them have the staff to process emails. That's despite the expenditure of billions of dollars of taxpayers money and the responsibility of gathering intelligence. How intelligent is that eh? Its bullshit.
Our intelligence organizations do have an army of analysts working on computers 24 hrs a day trying to find intelligence so its very likely they will come upon this page in their travels. They will then go rushing to their supervisors trembling with anticipation of getting a biscuit and pat on the head for finding a true picture of the dreaded Abu Hamza al-Muhajir.
It is interesting to note that while our spy agencies do not use email our bad dudes -those al Qaeda types etc do. It seems that there is some irony in this fact. Not that I am one to criticize mind you and not to put too fine a point on it but I didn't get to where I am today by being stupid so I can only assume that they know something we don't. (Like that would happen eh!)
