There is reality and there is Tim Horton's in Canada.
Like most Canadians I enjoy going to Tim Horton's. If it wasn't for reality I
would be happy with the place. But...The company has
done a fantastic job on telling the big fib. And the public believes it. And
some days so do I. But here goes anyway...
Basically this is the business formula. Offer minimum wage employment to
people desperate to work and deal with the high turnover. Sell cheap meals
because Canadians have little disposable income and that's all they can
afford.
Sell high sugar- high fat -nutritionally unsound meals because they
taste good have a high profit margin, are cheap and customers are too dumb or
disinterested or poor to eat nutritional
meals. Use donations to kids as a clever advertising technique rather than paying
employees a living wage or offering better food. Play the Canadian nationalism ticket and
become a Canadian icon. A lot of it is bullshit folks. And it works! Note I
am not claiming that TimBits Hockey is a bad idea -its a great idea. And I am
not saying that you can't enjoy yourself with something affordable in a friendly
atmosphere because you can at Tim's. The staff are notoriously and genuinely
friendly. All I am saying is that behind the Canadian
icon there are things that stink. Although the coffee is good and the food is
affordable and tastes good too.
People
will line up zombie-like, twenty deep to get their Timmy's and they love it.
There are no surprises because each Tim's is the same and Canadians don't like
surprises especially at coffee break time. Tim
Horton's has even pistol whipped MacDonald's in Canada and made them number
2. You can't turn a corner in Canada without seeing a Tim Horton's sign or
know someone who works there. But evil lurks! From those malevolent donuts -row on row.
The name
"Tim Horton's" derives from a
young hockey player who got
drunk one night and then pursued by police -sadly killed
himself on the road in a single car DUI accident. He was a good hockey player but basically
his partner Ron Joyce -an ex cop - was the driving
force behind the donut company and its fantastic growth. Who better to start a donut shop than an ex-
police officer!
Staff pay is a nickel over minimum wage just so
that they can say they don't pay minimum wage. They pay higher in low
unemployment areas to attract staff. Clever. Basically, they earn their
millions by employing cheap labour- mostly mature women (friendly Moms) and
(friendly) students or high
school drop outs and then by selling cheap mostly nutritionally deficient food. They have 70,000 employees and
outsell
McDonalds in Canada. They have approx 3000 restaurants all built to similar
standards and branding is the best of any in Canada. They have managed to
raise the junk food sales to a Canadian icon level right up there with the
Mounties and Armed Forces which I think is pushing it a bit too much. In fact
its not unusual to see half the police night shift taking a quick (haha) coffee
break at Tim's. And our Armed Forces often stop by to order up coffees and
snacks for folks back at the base.
Tim Hortons is probably a contributing
factor in thousands of type 2 diabetes cases in Canada and countless
thousands of Canadians with weight problems due to the high fat high sugar
foods served. They have reduced the transfats so I will give them
that! They appeal to the gullible nature of
the average Canadian. Because sugar and fat
taste good! I know what I just said is sacrilegious and I will not go
to heaven but unfortunately its all true.
Actually the coffee is not bad. I
feel this sudden urge to have one. Hmmmmmm. And they are serving up Tim
Bits in Afghanistan to our Canuck troops which everybody including me thanks
them for and supports so...you can't be too hard on the
rascals!
I run considerable risk in even raising these "issues"
as the average Canuck will go ballistic if anybody picks on his or her "Timmy's"
for any reason. But there -the deed is done... Try to come up with a more nutritionally sound donut- its not rocket
science and then I will be assimilated again -as resistance is futile....do...nutssssss
ummmmmmm.
Oh and the Tim Horton's gift cards
are nice ideas too. Who wouldn't want to get one of them. Lets be reasonable
here. And Tim Horton's stuff has entered the collectable area too and here
are some examples of items available now at auction!
Well here we are at the end of this
article and I am not sure what I have accomplished -if anything. I recall that
the original idea was to uncover bullshit and suggest a better way. In the case
of Tim Horton's while there is some bullshit there they also do some things
-many things- exceptionally well. So well we included them in our book on
business YOUR VERY FIRST
BILLION. I guess the last thought will be to fellow
fatties to watch the calories and eat more veggies and go light on the donuts
and start taking off that weight. Otherwise have fun!
